Owning Your Anger: Why Feeling Rage Is a Step Toward Healing

'Feeling anger doesn’t make you bad. It makes you human. In fact, anger is nothing but laser-focused self-love.'

Many spiritual paths encourage us to always be calm, forgiving, and peaceful. But anger and rage are feelings that can’t just be meditated away. Maybe you know this inner conflict: on one hand, you want to be 'spiritual' — on the other, there’s burning anger that won’t quiet down. These feelings don’t make you 'bad' or 'dark'. They show you that you have boundaries — and those boundaries have been crossed. They are a natural response to pain and injustice, and they deserve to be seen and understood.

Consciously feel your emotions and decode their message.

Anger Is a Natural Response — Not Something to Fear

Anger is not a disease or weakness. It’s a very human signal that warns you when something isn’t right. Often it arises when people cross your boundaries — whether through words, actions, or emotional neglect. Suppressing this anger only pushes those feelings deeper — it doesn’t heal the pain underneath. Instead, you can see anger as a kind of compass pointing to where healing and change are needed. Accepting your anger is the first step to breaking free from the helplessness that often lies beneath it.

Shadow Work Means Accepting All Parts of Yourself

Shadow work means not only working with the parts of yourself you love and admire, but also with those you reject or hide — including anger and frustration. By acknowledging your anger, you give yourself permission to be authentic. It’s not about acting impulsively or harmfully, but about consciously feeling the emotions and decoding their message. What does your anger want to tell you? What needs and wounds lie beneath? These questions help you understand yourself better and heal old hurts.

Anger, like any emotion, is a natural part of us.

Feeling Your Anger Helps You Regain Control

Many people believe anger controls them — that it’s something negative they need to get rid of. But in truth, you can learn to use your anger without being overwhelmed by it. When you allow yourself to honestly feel anger, space for awareness and choice opens up. You can then consciously decide how to handle it. Maybe you need to set a clear boundary, perform a ritual to transform the energy, or simply take a moment to protect yourself. This conscious awareness makes you strong and self-determined.

Healing Begins with Saying 'No' — Firmly and Clearly

A big part of healing is recognizing and defending your boundaries. Many of

us have learned to suppress anger out of fear of conflict or rejection. But saying 'no' is a powerful act of self-respect. It protects you from being hurt again and creates clarity in your relationships. This 'no' can be quiet and respectful, but it must be clear. By taking your anger seriously, you strengthen your inner authority and open the path to healthier encounters.

Accept anger as part of your identity and you will find it makes you whole.

You Are Whole — Even With Your Anger

You are not 'broken' or 'defective' because you feel anger. On the contrary: your anger is part of your wholeness. It belongs to your emotional spectrum just like joy, love, and compassion. Spiritual growth doesn’t mean excluding feelings — it means accepting them all in their entirety. When you integrate your anger, you become freer and more honest — with yourself and others. This is an important step toward true self-love and empowerment.

Ready to Explore Your Shadow?

If you feel ready to dive deeper into your anger and other difficult feelings, I offer various forms of support:

To help you get started with shadow work, I recommend my free guide, Embracing Your Shadow. If you want to delve deeper, try my workbook Midnight Rites, which links the new moons of the year to deities that can support you on your journey. Both workbooks contain helpful prompts and reflection aids to support your magical work.

If you would like personalised guidance, secure a place in my one-to-one coaching sessions.

The path through the shadows is difficult, but it brings you closer to yourself. And you won't have to walk it alone.

Journaling Prompt: 'Understanding and Embracing My Anger'

Take 10–15 minutes today to answer these questions honestly in your journal or on a piece of paper:

1. When was the last time I truly felt angry?

2. What situation triggered this anger?

3. Which boundary was crossed?

4. What feelings lie beneath the anger (e.g., hurt, helplessness, fear)?

5. What is my anger trying to tell me?

6. How can I express or transform my anger without harming myself or others?

7. What clear 'no' do I want to set for myself moving forward?

   
   

Write openly and without judgment. You can reflect on your answers later or use them as a starting point for conscious shadow work.

If this post resonated with you, you’ll find even more insights and practical tools on my YouTube channel and Instagram page. Both are spaces where we explore how to live more authentically, step by step.